Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future.
Lewis B. Smedes
Everything at some point or another must come to an end. Life, Relationships, Jobs, even something so simple as meals. Sometimes we can tell when we must stand and leave the place we were previously sitting, while other times we are jarred by the sudden realization we are being asked to leave, or that we are the only one left in the now closing restaurant. I'm not completely sure if I overstayed my visit on this account, or simple realized it was time to get my coat, but ether way it did move me out the door. My time on Arada has been a whirlwind of event. I've glimpsed fantastical Auroras and survived terrible typhoons. I have give my heart away many many times, and I've had it crushed perhaps just as much. I've met some of the most eccentric, lovable, fantastical people, as well as some that perhaps should take up a residence under a bridge. But even with all of that, the good, the bad, and the ugly, I've grown. I've learned. I've experienced.
Nothing about my stay here has been ideal, no one ever orders a fly in the soup, or a milkshake with spoiled milk. Sometimes you end up getting what you didn't order and it turns out you're quite happy with the mistake. Other times you really wish you did ask the waiter to send it back since you are allergic to the spices in it and now you can't enjoy your evening out. Life gives and takes. It pushes you this way an that, spinning you round till up is down and down is up. At times like these it's difficult to understand just what the future holds, or if its worth trying to reach for the future at all, but you must do your best to keep your its about you. We must live with the choices we make, both good and bad, because no matter what there are always going to be consequences. For a long time I wanted to take back many of the conversations I had with people, the arguments, the miscommunications, but you can't. All you can do is ask for forgiveness, apologize, and just move forward. The first two may never be granted, but I've learned the hard way in the end you just have to let it go. You made whatever choice you did, even if it wasn't the best, and now you must deal with it. To those that I've hurt in the past, offended, upset, or rubbed the wrong way, I do apologize. In my younger years I made many comments that at the time I truly did not think would agitate or annoy, but now I can see how that could have gotten under someones skin. I don't want to leave this account with bitter memories, or burning bridges. At least when I leave now I just wish that those I have burnt, or have been cut down, are now just ash or can be one day repaired. If not then that is just how it will be, but I don't want any more greif over what has happened, whatever happened.
To those who I don't keep much contact with (many of my watchers/acquaintances in groups), I wish you well. I hope your futures are bright and you are able to pursue whatever you are striving for. Lastly, I'd like to thank my amazing friends who have stood by me over the years. Even if we are no longer on speaking terms now, I am still grateful for the period of time you were around in my life.